saturday night ramblings.......

ohhh, kiss me baby, wake me up

i love this song i have to listen to it everyday at the moment lol

kiss me baby, i'm attractive, baby get to know me, show who you are
give me that music, baby, i'm eternal, lying in a coffin, waiting for you

my mobile is annoying at the moment given it's problematics with the wifi being incredibly intermittent like a stuttering teenager......

gonna fire up the slow cooker tomorrow - chicken, potato, bacon bake... been a while since i've made it, and well, let's face it, it ain't exactly summer down here.... mentioned on the news this week that it's been like 5 years or so since melbourne's gone the whole of january without reaching 40..... i'd go even further to say that it's barely even hit 30 most days and the forecast for the coming week is mostly low low 20's - suits me just fine :-)

better remember to take some bacon out of the freezer then!

currently sporting some great banter with my best mate about convertibles.... it's interesting what comes up in a google image search when the parameter is set to "old ugly convertible" - a new nissan pink thing even came up lol

so i'm doing quite well, today was meant to be my regular 'second day' where i'd pop a pill - so far so good.... again i don't expect much of a roller coaster coming off these things completely as compared to when i first got on em, but can't be too sure until decent amount of time has passed

bacon, don't forget the bacon...... ok done it :-)

i'll never forget the time i put on the slow cooker and had it on most of the day before i realised i hadn't turned the bloody thing on at the powerpoint! geeze i was pissed lol

and then there are the trance dance tracks that put me in another world.... thank you music! :-)

been thinking about ditching the old facebook thing again for a while.... but then who would i share my food pictures with??? ;-)

and who would i tap the dance of the keyboard to if i couldn't post about it to share my worldly (or worldless) thoughts!

the brain is a funny machine...

i did learn recently how evil silence can be....

and how much evil can be created when the brain is left to it's own devices in the presence of silence.

i do not like this phenomenon. not one iota.

hence i create lots more noise in the house these days.

there is an underlying long term plan, but in the meantime, i must fight the demons of silence and overcome the brain's power of creation, because my brain usually incurs the wrath of creation of lies, and i listen.

i'm trying to stop listening, i'm doing alright so far.

playing loud music and laughing loudly at the tv helps, a lot!

i feel nothing, when you cry
i hear nothing, see no need to reply
i can smile now, and turn away
come over here, so you can see me walk away, and celebrate
the end of night

i quite like that song too..... one of the few dido songs where you don't actually feel like taking a knife and finding a vein LOL

meanwhile! i got a call from baycorp advantage this week while i was at work.... looks like my fat ex has probably defaulted payment on any myriad of things he owes money to..... suck shit.... i told the girl that i had nothing to do with him anymore, but i knew exactly what they'd be calling about so i wished that i did know exactly where they could find him, just to teach him a lesson, another one.....

i guess that's what that song reminds me of :-)

installed a weather shield on the passenger side of the truck this afternoon..... far out i didn't bugger it up at all! i usually find some way to knacker it up when i try to be handy.... i've always said that building and construction concepts work totally OK in my brain, but practical application and implementation by my own hands is an ever growing MISERY in action LOL

let me draw it up in autocad - then let someone else do the real thing :-)

might get back into the good wife tomorrow

i finished the 3 seasons of miranda that i bought around my birthday - holy cow i am surprised i didn't get a call from neighbour sharon asking what the commotion was all about - and it wouldn't be the first time if she had done it LOL

my deja vu, you're my obsession
my deja vu, it's always you

beautiful music in that song, the instrumental is just as lovely, bit latin, guitars (bass and acoustic), shakers, drums etc and some electronica, can't go wrong with some nice electronica....

my deja vu, everything is up to you

better goto bed soon i think, gotta buy some things still for the slow cooker, then off to ballarat to the dodgy wendouree shops to sort out this mobile......

my deja vu............

arrivals hall...........

what an awesome, awesome day!

today, i went to visit the psychiatrist for my latest head check..... i was actually feeling really good and looking forward to catching up with him.

i went through how things in life were going great, day to day life was pretty good, work has been amazing, future happenings are pretty exciting too....

then he asked "so what did you want to do with your medication?" and i immediately stated "i wanna get off em!"

he agreed :-)

he said he didn't see the point in continuing when i was taking 1 tablet every second day anyhow, so my wish was granted!

yippeee!!!

so once again i am in this high head space like i was the day i got my teeth out of prison (braces).....

it's this weird surreal feeling like i've just arrived back in australia after being overseas for a few years.... so let's see how things appear in the future :-) given the dosage of what i was taking was on the weaker side, i shouldn't see any major side effects like i did when i was going up in dosage (big time)

i've had lots of experiences during the last 3 and a bit years whilst being on meds of some sort..... some good, some bad, but it's all just part of growing...

i've come out of the other side a much better unit - great friends, great family, great future prospects, great job, great opportunities, greatness all around

i'm in a position where i can be who i truly am, and be confident about it at the same time

i've had a few people drop off along the way, but that's not my problem, if people can't accept me for what my purpose is, i can't change that

and a few people have commented privately to me how happy they are to be seeing me so happy and having a great time with my life - at long last! :-)

all i can say is that i'm excited for the future, but don't want it to zooooommm right past my face, so i need to take a step back and make sure i enjoy each moment for what it's worth.

in addition to that, i've got something around my neck that means the world to me - it grounds me and keeps me safe and sane. i wouldn't swap it for anything, not ever (and no - it's not a noose LOL)

so i'll keep plodding along doing the best that i can and make things better for myself and those around me that mean lots and lots :-)

and as required i'll pop onto my bloggery thingo whatsit and tap the dance of the keyboard

go me! :-)